I didn’t realize just how insecure I was until I began thinking about starting a blog. I have been hemming and hawing about this for close to two years. Every single time I get close to pushing that ‘publish’ button on my first post, I think, maybe I should check out a few more blogs first. And then there is that feeling that all those other blogs are so much better than mine, why should I even bother. Comparing myself to others is such a defeating waste of time. I have plenty of time to figure out how to post gorgeous pictures and good writing (with proper grammar) takes practice, right? I won’t ever do it if I don’t just jump in NOW.
So it is almost February and I haven’t made any new year resolutions or goals for 2016. I foolishly agreed to dog sit for a friend and the stress of those 19 days threw me completely off-balance. The experience showed me exactly what I need to change in my life.
Sometimes I feel like having a chronic illness has made me a little self-absorbed and I find myself trying to counter that with people pleasing behaviors. I could have easily said no, but I would have felt like a jerk. I mean, I am here, I have a dog, your dog is nice, what could possibly go wrong? Turns out, plenty! I didn’t consider myself, or my limitations at all. I ended up being allergic to the sweet guy, had an emotional meltdown (my poor hardwood floors!) and fell into a flare from the stress of it all. It was lovely.
Of course, there is an art to saying ‘No’. I think it is wrapped up in self-esteem and served with grace. It doesn’t make excuses or apologies, but is firm and polite. In 2016, I want to master this art, because sometimes, when I say yes to my friends, I ultimately end up saying no to my family.
Have you learned the art of saying no? If you suffer from a chronic illness, do you feel guilty of about needing to put yourself first?