My hormones have been wreaking havoc on me for years. I’m pretty sure I am in what they call peri-menopause, a possible ten year (or less) slide into actual menopause, that most women start to feel in their forties. I don’t want to sound naive, but I actually think life after menopause will be better, more stable. I am sure it will come with it’s negatives, but I am not dreading it.
Today I am struggling with some serious post menstrual depression. Oh, whats that you say, you’ve heard of pre-menstrual issues, but never post? Yeah, its new to me also, but apparently not uncommon. Some months, not all, I have a massive mood decline the last day of or a day after my cycle has ended. It lasts for about 24 hours and then the hormones begin their natural climb back up. I think because my hormones are already shifting, sometimes the crash is worse.
And it sucks. It comes on like a sledgehammer and feels like full fledged depression. Because it is unpredictable, my first reaction to these feelings are “oh shit, I am slipping into a depression”. For me, depression starts out as a slow creep, so I am always on the lookout for markers that I am being pulled into a pit. But this isn’t the same thing at all. This depressive mood runs toward you, shoves you into the pit and puts a lid on it. A day later it opens the lid and throws you a rope. It happens so fast!
Peri-menopause is no joke. I’ll spend the rest of this beautiful spring day trying not to break down in tears for whatever reason the wind blows in. 😦