REBLOG: When Your Concern For My Chronic FM Pain Shows Up As Frustration

My fellow fibro warrior Lakshmi over at LGV wrote a great blog post earlier this week and I wanted to share. Two especially good points that I wanted to highlight:

“I know that you are genuinely concerned about my health and feel bad that I am in pain everyday…you know what,  I appreciate and am thankful for your concern. But when my answer is not what you expected, your concern turns into something I don’t deserve.”

“Would you ever walk up to someone suffering from life-threatening illnesses or serious injuries and ask them the questions that you ask me in a frustrated and impatient tone? No of course not. Because you can see it and know that the person is either going to be cured or not and in your eyes, you can’t put me in either box so I am automatically imagining and not doing enough to get better.”



In the last 10 years that I have been living with FM, I can positively say that I have heard/seen the gamut of reactions about my life with pain……disbelief, shock, encouragement, concern, feeling of being resigned, anger, frustration and finally impatience. The frustration shows up as a borderline rude question: “will you ever say that you are without pain?” or “will you ever get better?”

The answers in my mind range from, “Gee, why yes, as soon as they find a cure for it” to a mental flip/showing them the bird but because I know the intent behind this Q, I either say that I have to live with it or make a joke out of it – that FM and my life are 2 parallel but ever present tracks in my life and I am in the middle of it. Sometimes I just flat out…

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